dimpledbrain

The conceptual framework for a man's search for meaning

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Getting more and crucial conversation

August 3rd, 2019 by dimpledbrain

So the other day someone asked me a question – why are they pissed off when their expectation is not met

This kind of situation occurs daily – I have seen a fair share of these situations.

So I explained that there are a couple of pointers we have to always keep in mind:

  1. End goal – what are we trying to achieve here. This is very important. If your goal is just to get satisfaction from blasting the other person, humiliating the other person without getting anywhere, this response is ok
  2. But it turns out that this young corporate superstar needs to get some work done through her peer.
  3. So I ask her to focus only on the end goal and to coordinate all her other actions, thoughts and behaviours to achieve this goal
  4. If the need to explain 20 times is necessary to achieve this piece of work which is important to you, wouldn’t you just do it without hesitation?
  5. Sadly, most people drift aimlessly in this world. This happens because the end goal isn’t clear. Conflict happens because of this. Paradoxically, it is so much easier to live without clear goals than otherwise.
  6. If your action doesn’t support your end goal, then you are only jeopardising yourselves.
  7. The picture in the other person’s head – to complete this discussion, always remember to start any discussion from the mental picture in the other person’s head, not yours.
  8. Phrases like “why is this person so lazy, dumb”, “why is this person not respecting me” etc point to the mental picture in your head, not the other person’s.
  9. In summary you need to think hard of the end goal you want to achieve. Then start from the mental picture of the other person and then deploy any means to inch that picture towards your end goal.

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